Until We Meet Again
by JediMara77
Summary: From the time I read the end of "Dark Force Rising," I knew that Luke and Mara were meant to be together.  But it took ten years for them to get together.  This story is my canon-compatible answer to the question: "what took so long?"
1. Part 1

_Part 1: Following The Last Command, 9 ABY_

The next week was a flurry of activity, of meetings and more meetings. Mara had met with Luke several times, their long sparring sessions helping to relieve her ever-growing frustrations with politics. Luke even restrained himself and didn't question Mara about more Jedi training, allowing her a much needed respite from stress.

The day of her first trip off Coruscant, Mara hoped that she could sneak away without saying good-bye to Luke in person. She planned to leave him a message on his comm before going into hyperspace. For some reason, Mara was wary of saying good-bye to him. However, true to form, he was waiting for her when she arrived at the landing platform.

"Skywalker. What are you doing here?" Mara asked, stopping in her tracks.

"Nice to see you too, Mara. I knew you were leaving today, and I thought I should say good-bye. And I thought you might try to avoid it," he added, winking at her. Mara rolled her eyes and playfully smacked him on the arm. "Thanks, Skywalker. I tried to reach you before, but couldn't find you," she lied.

"Sure you did," he replied, his eyebrow raised suspiciously. Mara kicked herself internally, reminding herself that it was pointless to lie to a Jedi.

"Also, before you left…" he continued, his face looking apprehensive, "after all the sparring practice, you've really shown great potential, so I'm sorry, but I have to ask…have you given _any_ consideration to more formal Jedi training?"

Mara cringed. She looked at the lightsaber hanging from her belt—the lightsaber that had once belonged to Luke's father, and then to Luke himself. It was such an important heirloom, and obviously not a gift he had given lightly. "I'm sorry, Skywalker. I told you, I just can't make that commitment right now." She could feel the disappointment radiating from him even though he tried hard to hide it. She reached out, touching him gently on his arm. "I really am sorry."

He nodded. "I can't make you be a Jedi if you don't want to, Mara. But you can't stop using the Force any more than you can stop breathing."

Mara shook her head at him. She knew that he would never give up on her. The thought made her smile. Finally Mara cleared her throat, glancing at her waiting ship. "I really should get going now. Karrde's waiting for me." Her voice shook slightly, not enough for most people to notice. But Luke was not most people.

"I know," he replied, staring into her eyes.

The air was heavy between them. Mara finally spoke. "Well, thanks, Luke." Her voice got quiet. "For everything." She glanced down at her feet, too embarrassed to look at him, and mad at herself for feeling this way. Neither of them moved.

Finally, Luke broke the silence. "Good-bye, Mara." Then, holding her hands, he leaned in and gently pressed his lips against Mara's cheek. She stiffened slightly, years of reflexes getting the best of her, but she did not pull away.

Mara didn't know why she let him kiss her. She knew that she wasn't ready to be a Jedi. She wasn't even sure of her feelings for Luke. But in that moment, it didn't matter. She was no longer the Emperor's Hand. She was someone's friend.

She was _Luke's_ friend.

It was a kiss one would give a friend, or even a sister, but she knew that it meant more than that. They broke apart and stared at each other for a long moment. Before Luke could kiss her again, Mara swung around, angry at herself for letting her emotions get the best of her. She hurried across the landing platform, leaving Luke breathless behind her.

"Mara!" His voice pierced through the silence of the landing platform as she rushed towards the bottom of the ramp. She stopped and glanced back towards him, her green eyes as hard as ice, all tender emotions gone.

"When you decide you want more training, you know where to find me."

Mara gawked at him, ready to explode. Instead, she threw her head back and laughed. "When I want more training?" She shook her head. "Same old Skywalker. When will you get it through your thick skull that I don't want any more training?"

Luke grinned. "When you realize that I'm right and you really do want more training, Jade."

She rolled her eyes. "Would you care to place a wager on that?"

"Oh, I'd be more than willing," he replied. "But you're so stubborn that you'd never change your mind and consciously lose a bet."

Mara laughed again. It was ironic that the person she had pledged to kill for five years was the only person who truly understood her. She continued up the ramp, a hint of regret washing over her. She turned around when she entered the ship. "See you soon, Skywalker," she said, putting on a fake smile. She could feel him watching her walk towards the cockpit until the closing ramp blocked his view.

As she sat down in the pilot's seat, she briefly let herself wonder how long he would wait for her, before shrugging off the thought, and turning to the task at hand.


	2. Part 2

_Part 2: During I, Jedi and Dark Apprentice, 11 ABY_

For the week after she arrived at the Jedi Academy, Mara spent most of her time training with and getting to know Corran Horn. She enjoyed spending time with him, but she was dissatisfied that she wasn't learning many new skills. She continued to grow disillusioned as Luke stopped showing interest in giving his older students individual attention.

During one of their morning runs, Mara finally broached the subject with Corran. "I don't know if I should be here," she confessed.

Corran glanced over at her, still focused on the complicated trail ahead of them. "Oh?" he questioned.

"Yeah. I guess I thought it would be different here. For the past two years Skywalker has been hounding me about completing my Jedi training, and now that I'm here, it's like I barely exist."

Corran snorted. "What are you talking about? He paid attention to you nonstop when you arrived."

"Yeah, but only because he was amazed that I finally listened to him. After that, I was just another student." She swatted a tree branch out of their path, while Corran ducked out of the way and began to laugh.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said quickly, jumping over some large rocks.

"What?" Mara insisted, catching up to him and swatting him on the arm. "Horn, come on! What is it?"

Corran laughed even louder. "You know you sound absolutely ridiculous, right?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I do not!" Mara protested.

"Yes, you do! You're the former Emperor's hand, a trained assassin who anyone in their right minds would fear, on the way to completing your training as a Jedi, and you're complaining because you're not getting enough attention? Seriously, Mara, you sound like a boy-crazy schoolgirl."

"Oh Horn, you are _dead_."

"Act mad all you want, Mara, but you know that I'm right."

"Fine. Maybe that does sound stupid. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not satisfied here. I already know how to physically be a Jedi. I need mental guidance, and Skywalker can't offer that right now. And if I sound like a boy-crazy schoolgirl, that's just one more reason for me to get out of here."

They began to approach the academy, the temples in the distance indicating the end of their run. Slowly, they eased their pace to a slow jog.

"Mara, there's a reason Luke paid so much attention to you when you first arrived. He cares about you. And it's completely obvious to everyone," he added.

Mara rolled her eyes. "Please, Horn. It's not like that. We're just friends."

Corran gave her a knowing look. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes, really!" Mara shoved him lightly. "We've been through a lot, okay? And he made me think that he was really invested in me becoming a Jedi. So this whole situation has just made me rethink our friendship, that's all."

"Well, if you care that much Mara…maybe there _should _be something going on between you two."

She shook her head. Maybe at one time she thought the same way, but now she was too disillusioned to believe it. She made the decision that, for the sake of their friendship, she had to leave.

*****

The following day, Mara informed Luke that she was leaving. Surprisingly, he seemed fine with the idea, and even offered to arrange transport for her off planet. She was grateful to be leaving so soon, but his indifference just confirmed her suspicions about him not caring as much for her as she did for him.

Mara was packing her scant belongings when there was a knock at her door. "Come in," she called, expecting to see Corran, as they had discussed getting together for lightsaber practice. Instead, Luke entered her room. He stood just inside the doorway, watching Mara.

"Packing already?" he asked.

"Yeah," Mara replied. "Don't want to keep my ride waiting, you know? Never know when they might show up."

Luke nodded. "Don't worry. I arranged for Han and Lando to come pick you up on the _Falcon_. They owe me some favors, and Lando especially seemed glad to offer you a ride."

Mara rolled her eyes. Han she could handle, but Lando just tried too hard. She noticed Luke staring at her with a peculiar expression. "Thanks, Skywalker. I appreciate it."

"No problem." He cleared his throat. "They should be here tomorrow."

"Good."

Mara went about packing her things, Luke still watching her from the doorway. "Is there something you need, Luke?" she asked, trying to get him out of her room.

"No, sorry. It's just…can I ask you something, Mara?"

Mara cringed inwardly. She did not want to get into a deep discussion with Skywalker, but she knew that he wouldn't leave otherwise. "Sure, what is it?"

"Why are you leaving?"

She stopped for a moment, and gave him an odd look. "I told you why already, Luke. You seemed fine with my reason."

"Well, I'm not." For the first time, he looked genuinely upset about her leaving.

She raised her eyebrow. "Really? Scared to lose another Jedi?"

"Yes—I mean no—I mean, yes, I think you're making a mistake by not going through with your training. But it's more than that." He crossed to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "It's nice having you here."

"Really? Could have fooled me," Mara replied as she ducked away from him, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Look, I told you, I have responsibilities elsewhere that I think are more important right now." Mara paused, not intending to continue, but decided that Skywalker at least deserved to know the real reason why she was leaving. "Not only that, but I don't feel like I'm learning what I need to be learning here. I think I need more individual attention." She didn't clarify that she wanted that individual attention from Luke.

"I'm sorry, Mara. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing here. I wish I had time for everyone, but I don't. You're one of the most advanced students here—"

"So you figured I would do well on my own, or pawned off to other teachers and students?" she cut him off.

Luke stared at her, stung by her words. "It's not like that, Mara."

"Really?"

"No. I'm sorry you feel this way. I wish I could change things for you…to make you want to stay?"

Mara might have stayed, if Luke had asked her directly what he could do to change her mind. But he didn't. She shook her head.

Luke nodded, and reached down to unclip something from his belt. "Here," he said, handing her his old lightsaber. "You left this in the training room. I wouldn't want you to forget it." His hand lingered over hers as he placed the weapon in her hand.

"Keep it, Skywalker. I'm obviously not going to be using it."

"No, Mara," he insisted, closing her hand around the hilt. "This was a gift to you, no matter what." He stared into her eyes, and his hand reached up to lightly caress her cheek. "I'm really sorry, Mara. I wish it could be different."

For a moment, Mara held his gaze. She saw herself in his blue eyes, and thought of Corran's words—that it was obvious how much Luke cared for her. For a brief moment, she believed him.

Then, with a touch of resentment, Mara pulled away. She didn't want to stay around Luke and let her opinion of him continue to diminish. "Good-bye, Luke," she said, indicating that it was time for Luke to leave. He nodded, pressed her hand to his lips, and walked out the door. Mara stared into the now-empty space, remembering their time on Wayland, and wondering if things would ever be the same between them.


	3. Part 3

_Part 3: A month after Planet of Twilight, 13 ABY_

"Care for another drink, Miss?"

Mara blinked, shaking herself back into focus. Normally, she was the epitome of professionalism while at client meetings, but an unnerving feeling that she couldn't shake had been rattling her all evening. She turned to the server standing next to her table. "No thank you, I think we're about done here."

The server nodded and left. Mara turned her attention back to the man sitting across from her. "So, we have a deal then?" she asked, placing a datapad in front of him.

"I think your terms are acceptable. Tell Karrde that he can expect to see me in two weeks time," the man stated. He pressed his thumb to the datapad and handed it back to Mara. They rose from their seats and shook hands. He gave her a curt nod before turning and walking through the crowded tapcafe.

Mara normally chose nicer venues for client meetings, but this particular individual had some privacy concerns, so she had chosen one of the seedier tapcafes on Coruscant's lower levels, one she knew was never frequented by anyone with much power or influence in the New Republic.

So imagine her surprise when she found herself staring at the face of Luke Skywalker, sitting mere tables away from her, and realized that he was the source of the unnerving feeling that had been bothering her all night.

He looked awful. His hair was obviously in need of a cut; he had several days' worth of beard on his face; and he was wearing not his usual Jedi attire, but an old tattered flight suit. Mara counted the empty glasses on his table, and wondered how many more his server had already taken away.

She briefly wondered if she should try to sneak out before he noticed her. She knew why Luke was in such a state, and she was not in the mood to join his pity party, or to cheer him up.

Before she could move, though, Luke's face lit up as he recognized her. He smiled brightly, a stark contrast to the rest of his appearance. He waved at her, beckoning her to his table.

"Mara," he greeted her warmly, rising from his seat to give her a quick hug. "It's so good to see you. Were you leaving? Would you care to join me?" he added, his eyes warm with affection.

Against her better judgment, Mara nodded in acceptance and took the seat across from him. The smell of alcohol was ripe on his breath.

"So Skywalker, I'm surprised to see you here." She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Yeah, I can imagine," Luke replied. "Janson recommended this place to me. I needed to get out but didn't want to have to deal with anyone. What about you?"

"Client meeting for Karrde," Mara replied. She glanced at the empty seat next to him. "No lady friend tonight?" she asked. It was a loaded question; she already knew why he was alone. She almost felt petty asking it, but didn't want to acknowledge that she knew details of his personal life.

Luke stared into his drink glass, stirring the straw around mindlessly. "It's not obvious just looking at me?" he asked, smirking at his disheveled appearance. Mara reached out and gently touched his hand. He looked up from his glass, and Mara was startled by the intense look of pain in his eyes. She felt a stab of anger for the woman who had hurt her friend so much.

When she met her, Mara had felt almost indifferent towards Callista. She was glad to see Luke so happy; he once again seemed like the old, naïve farmboy that she met on Myrkr, and their friendship was strong. Even so, Mara had felt an odd sort of possessiveness towards him. She worried that his new relationship would eventually usurp their friendship.

And deep down, though she would never actually acknowledge the thought, she had begun to wonder: _what if?_

But now, Mara only felt sympathy for her friend. "I'm sorry, Luke," Mara told him. "I would ask how you're doing, but the fact that you're here and surrounded by empty drink glasses answers my question."

Luke smiled at her joke. "Just one of those nights, I guess. Was feeling sorry for myself. I feel better now that you're here, though," he added.

"Glad to be of service, Skywalker. You can deposit some credits in my account." Mara grinned at him. "Also, if it's any consolation, I think she's an idiot for leaving you."

Luke chuckled. "That's what my sister said."

"Well, you should listen to her. She's a smart lady."

"Thanks, Mara." Luke sighed, and finished the rest of his drink.

"Seriously, Luke. There are plenty of other women in the galaxy. I'm sure the right one will come along."

Luke nodded slowly. He was quiet for a minute, lost in thought. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. Finally, he whispered, "I just keep wondering what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Luke. She chose to leave instead of working things out with you. She's dumb."

Mara expected Luke to defend her, but he didn't protest. Instead he looked up, locking eyes with Mara for the first time since she sat down. Something in his expression told her that he hadn't been referring to Callista.

Feeling redness spread across her face, Mara quickly looked away from him. She didn't want to get into this discussion while Luke was depressed and probably intoxicated. Looking for a reason to leave, Mara checked the chrono on her wrist and rose from her chair. "I'm sorry, Luke. I just remembered that I have a meeting with a client soon. I gotta go."

"Now?" Luke looked crushed.

"Yeah, he's off planet right now so he can only contact me at odd hours." She knew that her excuse sounded flimsy, but she didn't care.

Luke stood to face her. "I'm heading back to Yavin IV in a few days. Could we have dinner before I leave? It's so great to see you. I haven't felt this happy in awhile," he added.

Mara felt both pleased and resentful at being held responsible for Luke's happiness. Part of her desperately wanted to see Luke again. But she was too proud to play the role of devoted female friend to the lovesick Jedi Master.

Mara shook her head and adjusted the satchel on her shoulder. "Sorry Skywalker, I'm leaving tomorrow. It was good to see you, though. I hope you feel better very soon."

She could not bring herself to say her final words aloud, so instead she said them in her mind: _I'm not going to be your rebound girl, Skywalker. Call me when you're over her._

Luke stared at her, unblinking. He didn't acknowledge her thought, but she was sure that he heard it—he was always butting into her mind.

Mara squeezed his hand. "See you later, Skywalker," she said. She walked away into the crowd, wondering when that would be, and hoping that, finally, the timing would be right.

But she soon made herself stop thinking about him. All she heard from him was silence.


	4. Part 4

_Part 4: A few months prior to Specter of the Past, 18 ABY_

Mara busies herself inside the _Jade's Fire_, going through the post-landing checklist after arriving at the Jedi Academy. She knows this routine by heart, but she puts an unusual amount of concentration into her actions, trying to distract herself from the figure waiting for her on the landing platform.

A week ago, Leia Organa Solo had contacted Mara and asked her to deliver supplies to Yavin IV. She protested, not wanting to spend time alone with Skywalker at the Jedi Academy, but Leia insisted, saying that Luke needed a distraction. Not wanting to give the impression that seeing Skywalker was a big deal, Mara reluctantly agreed.

She has seen Luke many times over the past five years, but always in an official New Republic or Jedi capacity. Their friendship has grown strong once again, but it is just that—friendship. However, the recent reappearance and death of Gaeriel Captison made Mara's old feelings of bitterness and jealousy resurface.

Ashamed of her emotions, and not wanting to harbor them any longer than necessary, Mara planned to deliver the supplies and leave immediately. But Luke, as always, has other intentions.

He is already in the ship's cargo hold unloading supply crates when she arrives. "Mara! Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it," he tells her, giving her a one-armed hug as he effortlessly picks up another crate. Mara makes a mental note that Luke isn't using the Force to help unload. "Just put the crates down on the platform. I'll bring them inside later. You'll stay for dinner, won't you?"

"Can't, Skywalker. Thanks for the offer, though. Karrde needs me back right away," she lies, moving more crates off her ship.

"Come on, Mara. At least spar with me a bit? For old time's sake? Everyone else here bores me," he whines as they cross paths.

Against her better judgment, Mara smiles. It _would_ be good to relieve some stress, she thinks. "All right, Skywalker," she relents. "But I can't stay very long, really."

Luke grins. "Don't worry, I won't force you." Mara puts down the last of the supply crates and follows him into the temple, almost wishing that he would.

*****

Half an hour later, they are inside the main training room, viciously sparring. Mara's movements get faster and stronger as they circle each other, looking for weaknesses. As she slashes and hacks at him, Luke blocks each of her blows with ease. His effortless fighting style has never bothered her before, but now, with images of Callista and Gaeriel in her mind, it angers her. Her strikes get closer and closer, and she knows that she should stop and clear her head, but she doesn't. Luke eventually disarms her, momentarily placing his blade at her throat. Then he extinguishes his weapon and steps back. They bow to each other, and Mara retrieves her lightsaber.

"Rematch?" she demands. She refuses to leave the loser.

"I don't think so, Jade," he replies. He rarely uses her last name unless he is amused with her. "It's not a good idea to fight you while you're angry," he teases. "I might lose another limb."

Luke's good-natured teasing makes Mara's rage erupt. "Fine!" she yells, Force pushing him against the wall. She storms towards the door, but Luke grabs her by the arm before she can leave. "Mara, wait!" he shouts. She turns around and slaps him across the face.

He is stunned, she can tell, but doesn't let it faze him. He doesn't return her blow, but instead grabs her wrist and holds her firmly in place. He stares at her for a long moment. "Mara, what the _hell_ is your problem?" he growls, his normal Jedi Master demeanor nowhere to be seen.

She replies in turn. "_You_ are my problem, Skywalker. Have been since day one."

Luke is not shaken by her statement. "You care to be more specific? Or are we just going to pretend like everything's okay until you try to take my head off again?"

"I don't have time for this. I shouldn't have come here." She tries to leave, but Luke does not loosen his grip on her arm.

"Mara." His voice is more firm and controlling than she has ever heard.

"Fine, Luke. _Fine._ You want to know what my problem is?" Mara pulls her wrist away, rubbing it where Luke was holding her. His eyes flicker momentarily to her wrist, and she notices concern on his face, a question of whether he hurt her. She ignores this and continues. "Do you ever wonder why I didn't kill you when I had the chance, Skywalker?" she asks.

Her question confuses him. "Despite you just slapping me, I know you could never have done it, Mara," he replies, his standard answer when discussing her past.

"But I _could_ have, Luke. I killed plenty of people before I met you without thinking twice. I was ordered to kill you, and I never disobeyed orders. But something happened that I was never trained for." She takes a deep breath, and continues. "I began to like you."

The years of Jedi training have been kind to Luke, and he does not react to this admission. Instead, he glares at her, his eyes urging her to continue. "I began to like you _a lot_, Skywalker. You became my closest friend and my closest ally. I cared about you deeply, and I knew that it wasn't just a final act of defiance against the Emperor.

"But I wasn't ready to be a Jedi then. I hoped that, one day, I would be able to commit to my training. When I finally got here, you were so happy to see me. But then I was relegated to training with everyone else. I practically begged you for individual attention, but you were too busy. So I left."

"Mara, that was years ago," Luke says, frustrated. "I explained it to you back then. You already had skills and knowledge that the other students didn't. They needed my help more."

"Yeah, well, I thought I was a little more important than that. I guess my ego was bruised; I thought of you as my closest friend, but obviously I wasn't yours. And then _she_ came along." Mara doesn't have to mention her name. His calm expression finally breaks at the mention of her. "It was obvious where I stood."

"I'm sorry, Mara," Luke spits out. "What was I supposed to do, sit here and wait for you to come around?" he seethes.

In the back of her mind, Mara is keenly aware that this is the first real acknowledgement of any sort of feelings between them other than friendship, and even though she feels nothing but anger towards Luke at the moment, her heart soars.

"Yes, dammit!" She slams her hand against the wall. She knows that she sounds like a selfish, ridiculous little girl, but she doesn't care. She has hid her feelings for too long. "I thought…I thought you really cared about me…I mean, for Sith's sake, Luke! You gave me _this_!" She thrusts her lightsaber in his face.

As always, Luke is oblivious to her meaning. "Yeah, I did. What does that have to do with anything?" he asks.

"Oh come _on_, Luke. You don't just give _any_ woman your dead father's lightsaber." Luke opens his mouth to speak, but Mara cuts him off. "But whenever I saw you, that's what I was. Just another woman; just another student to teach; just another ally in your precious New Republic."

Luke protests, and his eyes soften. "You're wrong, Mara. You're more than that."

Mara snorts. "That's what Corran said."

"You talked to _Corran_ about this?" Luke asks, incredulous.

"Not exactly. But he told me that you obviously cared for me."

"I did care, Mara. I _do_ care. But you made it pretty clear what you wanted—or rather, what you _didn't_ want."

"What are you talking about, Luke?" For once, it is Mara's turn to be oblivious.

"The first time you left Coruscant, Mara," he yells. "I kissed you then. Remember? I went against all my better judgment, my fear of rejection, my worry of getting slapped." He gestures to the mark on his face. "But I felt something between us. So I took a chance, and I kissed you. And you turned around and left."

"That was a good-bye kiss," Mara objects, but her heart sinks, remembering her thoughts after that moment—_how long would he wait for her?_

"No it wasn't, Mara." The anger has left Luke's voice. It is filled with depression, a tone she has only heard from him once—in a seedy tapcafe on Coruscant. "We both knew _exactly_ what it meant. And you walked away." He sighs. "I tried to rationalize that it just wasn't the right time. And then you came here, and I was ecstatic. Corran was right. But you weren't satisfied with anything I was doing. Before I could talk to you and tell you how I felt, you left again. And then you got with _him_," he adds. "So that was that."

Mara bristles at the mention of Calrissian, but doesn't offer an explanation. "Yeah, well maybe I didn't want to wait around, either."

"You always pushed me away, Mara. You never even gave me a chance to try."

She stares at him. His naïve farmboy routine is, for once, getting old. "Yes. I did."

"Now what are _you_ talking about?"

"That night on Coruscant. Five years ago. In the tapcafe."

A flash of pain crosses Luke 's eyes. "Yeah, I remember. I asked you to stay with me. And once again, you left. You didn't seem to even want to be my friend."

Mara shakes her head, remembering her challenge to him, that she knew he had heard, and the hurt when he never responded. "No. I told you something then. Do you remember what it was?"

A look of realization passes over Luke's face, followed by a look of dread. "I…I thought I had imagined that."

"Jedi don't imagine things, Skywalker."

A lone tear threatens to fall down Mara's cheek. She violently brushes it away, mad at herself for her stupid, irrational emotions. Seeing her on the verge of tears, Luke takes a hold of her hand, then wipes another tear from her eye. They stare at each other for a long time.

Luke's voice is barely a whisper. "What do you want, Mara?"

Her heart screams _you!_, but her head refuses to let her speak. She wishes that he didn't have to ask her that question. She is too stubborn to speak the words first, especially after all this time.

Abruptly, she pushes his hand away. "Forget it, Skywalker. It's pointless. Let's forget this ever happened." She retrieves her pack from the corner of the training room. "Thanks for the hospitality. I need to head out."

Luke steps in front of her before she can leave the room. "Mara." It is a desperate whisper. "What is it you want?" he repeats. His eyes are earnest and willing to please.

All inhibitions thrown out the window, she stares deep into his eyes—into his soul. Putting every ounce of her being into the Force, she wills him. _Kiss me. Kiss me now, and I will stay._

But Luke does not move. She knows that he has heard her. But he does not listen.

His inaction spurs her out of her reverie. Her final words drip with bitterness and anger. "You're the Jedi Master. You figure it out."


	5. Part 5

_Part 5: During Vision of the Future, 19 ABY_

For the fourth evening on Nirauan, Luke climbs into his bedroll. It is quiet here, but he cannot sleep. He tries clearing his mind, but it is to no avail. He settles in for another sleepless night.

Mara is lying a few feet away from him. He can sense that she is also awake, but cannot bring himself to speak to her.

After a few minutes, she sits up. "Luke?" she asks.

"Yeah?" he replies, not moving. He does not want to see her watching him.

"I have to tell you something."

Luke braces himself for another heart-to-heart conversation with Mara Jade. He doesn't think he can handle it, with the vision of her death so clear in his mind. "What's that?" he asks hesitantly.

Her voice is quiet and timid. "I want to tell you that…that I'm sorry."

"What for?" Luke asks, confused. They have never spoken of their fight on Yavin IV, and since then they have been unusually civil towards each other. He cannot think of any reason for Mara to apologize. If anything, he should be the one to ask for forgiveness for being a stubborn idiot.

He can barely hear her next words. "For leaving."

Luke thinks back to their argument—him telling her that she never gave him a chance to try. He nods into the darkness. "There's nothing you need to say you're sorry for."

"I know. But I want to."

Luke wonders why Mara suddenly feels compelled to apologize, but doesn't ask. "Thank you, Mara. I'm sorry, too."

Mara lies down again. Luke still cannot sleep. He sees Child of Winds watching them through the darkness.

"Luke?" Mara asks again.

"Yes, Mara?

She takes a deep breath. "Do you ever wish…do you ever wish that things were different?"

Luke blinks back tears. For once in his life, he does not have to ask her meaning. "All the time," he chokes.

Mara's voice trembles. "Me too."

He hears a rustling noise, and Mara crawls over to his bedroll. He makes room for her and she settles down next to him. "I'm cold," she says. It is a poor excuse—she has not been cold the previous nights—but he does not question her. She lays her head on his chest, and he wraps his arms around her, absentmindedly stroking her hair. He almost expects her to push him away, but instead she melts further into him.

"Night, Luke," she whispers.

"Night, Mara," he replies. He is quiet, sensing that she has more to say. But she doesn't speak; she does not want to ruin this moment.

After a few minutes, Luke feels Mara drifting off to sleep. He cannot bring himself to look at the woman lying beside him, the image of her death still haunting his mind.

He has thought about this moment for many years—when she would finally let her guard down and allow him to really care for her. He has wondered how she would feel lying next to him; how she would smell; how she would taste. But now, with the vision of her lifeless body floating before his eyes, he cannot allow himself to care. To damn her to the fate that has claimed every other woman he has loved. He silently curses the universe for giving him one perfect moment, a taste of all that he has missed, here at the end of it all.

Finally, he lets himself look at her. She looks so peaceful, so serene—a stark contrast to the Mara Jade that most people know. A tear falls down his face, but he does not brush it away. He allows himself to weep for the woman beside him, and for all the perfect moments between them that will never come to pass.

**FIN**


End file.
